10 Things My Toddler Really Needs For Christmas

It’s that time of year again! Time to bring out the holiday decorations, bundle up for the cold season, and make lists for loving relatives who need to know what your kids want for Christmas.

I have a two-year-old boy, and I personally find toddlers hard to shop for. They may or may not be obsessed with something like trucks or balls or baby dolls, but because toddlers often have limited interests, they’ll likely get showered with those specific items by generous grandparents. Clothing can be a safe option, but if your family is anything like mine, you’ve got heaps of it and are currently working on sorting outgrown piles into a manageable system of some kind (you hope).

My quirky little kid happens to be obsessed with vacuuming and sweeping– but only with our full-sized adult vacuums and brooms. He also loves to watch our garbage truck go by, but he doesn’t actually show much interest in playing with toys. Unless it’s a toy you have, then he definitely wants it for about 10 seconds.

With that said, here’s a realistic list of what my toddler desperately needs for Christmas:

1. A mind-reader to figure out if he needs the blue cup or the red cup today.

2. A snack. A snack saves the day like nothing else can. Preferably something packaged, crunchy, and derived of most nutrients.

3. A banana that is perfectly cut. This may be in half, or in thirds. Or it may need to be whole. This changes day to day, and is only discovered after the banana is or isn’t launched across the room.

4. A nap. Probably a long one, because he’s currently transitioning from two naps a day to one, and it’s turned our life on its head. A lactating nipple must remain in his mouth for the duration of said nap.

5. Mittens that are warm and waterproof and somehow magically fit and extend up to his elbows, while allowing him the use of his opposable thumbs.

6. “Uppies.” The child desperately needs uppies, no matter what you’re trying to work on. You must pick him up, carry him around, and show him all the things. You can’t use a carrier though; that would be too easy.

7. A room that is 100% toddler-proofed and full of friends, with constantly changing toys for appropriate stimulation. This is the only way to keep him entertained for any significant period of time at this juncture.

8. A shirt without tags or seams or itchy fabric. Also without sleeves, as those are annoying after a long naked summer, but it must simultaneously keep him warm.

9. The same three books read over and over and over again, pages turned all willy-nilly.

10. Well-rested parents.

Somehow I have faith that St. Nicholas with deliver. What does your toddler really need for Christmas?

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